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Too Bad This Bill Wasn't an April Fools' Joke

Two thousand-dollar dinners, a four thousand-dollar-plus bill for cell phone roaming charges -- all buried in a 112-page invoice for over $600,000 in legal fees. Sounds like some kind of an April Fools' joke about greedy lawyers, but it's not.  To the contrary, as this TMZ article reports, those charges appeared on California attorney Debra Opri's invoice for services provided in connection with her  former client Larry Birkhead's efforts to gain custody of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, whom he claims to have fathered.  [Hat tip to Crime and Federalism for the article].

Opri's bill serves as a template for what lawyers shouldn't do when invoicing clients.  The bill includes multiple, extravagently priced meals that Opri shared with other lawyers, where Birkhead wasn't even present.  And while presumably, Opri and her colleagues at least talked about Birkhead's case at these meetings, most clients will wonder how much business is really discussed in the course of a fancy dinner. 

In other cases, Opri's bills reflect poor inefficient business choices that clients are unlikely to continue to subsidize.  For example, Opri billed for $4,000 in roaming charges for time spent in the Bahamas.  Surely, in this competitive market, less expensive cell plans were available.  And what about VoIP options or Internet as a more cost-efficient means of communicating?  In an era where investment in technology can substantially reduce costs, will sophisticated clients remain willing to pay for costs like messenger service (where e-mail or e-fax is available), roaming charges and voluminous paper copies?

Opri also billed for less extravagant meals as well as laundry.  From my own perspective, I've often wondered about the propriety of charging every meal on travel.  After all, unless you work at a place that pays for all of your meals, you still pay to eat even when you're not on travel.  So why should clients pick up the cost of every food item simply because you're away on business?

  Back in mid-March, when Birkhead and Opri first parted ways, Opri explained that the relationship ended because Birkhead had developed a friendship with Howard Stern and was negotiating a settlement to the custody issues.  She explained:

"I just had enough. I can't represent a client who has a middle man by the name of Howard K. Stern. I feel very comfortable in my decision, and I wish Larry the best. But I am worried about him ... I couldn't continue with the way things were going."

After seeing the size of Opri's bill, however, I now wonder whether she was interested in protecting Birkhead's interest or her own cash cow.

Posted by Carolyn Elefant on April 2, 2007 at 02:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Comments

Perhaps Larry Birkhead should have considered the cost of his attorney when he was running around the country and the USA participating in legal battles where he had no legal standing. I don't believe all of the charges on the bill are valid however, talk is not cheap as he has just found out. Maybe next time an ex-girlfriend dies and they argue over the body maybe he will mind his business and stay the hell at home.

Posted by: SYH | Apr 3, 2007 7:35:47 AM

Hilarious ! Larry's bills were higher than my own last weekend. Hilarious. What's that old saying about down with the dogs and fleas....oh yea, lobsters too.

Posted by: Lew | Apr 3, 2007 11:48:46 AM

Greedy lawyer bills can reach the point of mail fraud, a la Webster Hubbell.

My favorite horrible example remains the bill, in a divorce involving a millionaire, that included time for two (2) partners to take an Express Mail piece in the case to the post office, even before Email and E-File, as well as disclosure of very persoanl and private privileged and confidential communications, filed as an exhibit to a suit on it, which I saw when consulted by the victim's new lawyer about legal ehtics adn tort issues after the first lawyer had thus broken up a reconciliation. The original retainer contract and bill also included both their standard hourly rates and a notably large contingency factor.

My impression is that only rarely do the state bars and courts take action against such grossly excessive billings.

Posted by: Peter S. Chamberlian | Apr 3, 2007 3:00:49 PM

After all, unless you work at a place that pays for all of your meals, you still pay to eat even when you're not on travel.

If I'm not traveling, I can eat at home and cook my own meals; I don't have to eat every meal at a restaurant or out of a convenience store.

That said, I am surprised how much disconnect there is between "I am spending" and "my client is paying" for some lawyers.

Posted by: mythago | Apr 4, 2007 8:37:38 AM

WOW! Thats a lot of money! I think some of the phone providers are just taking the money of its subscribers. For me, i i have my providers checked and it help me save money. check this out, i think this might help affordable family cellular phone plans.

Posted by: Ryan | Jul 4, 2007 10:08:38 PM

Don't be so quick to judge the Bahamas roaming bills. Ever tried to call stateside from the Bahamas?? It's one of these little countries where all telecom is under state monopoly. It's worse than calling from a dang cruise ship.

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