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Unfollowed: Twitter Ideas That Never Quite Caught On

Twitter I like Twitter. I use it personally (@brucecarton), and also as a news feed of sorts for my publication about SEC enforcement and securities litigation issues (@SecuritiesD). But like Bill Blazejowski in Night Shift, "I'm an idea man, I get ideas, sometimes I get so many ideas that I can't even fight them off" [Note to Grasshopper Lipman: Night Shift is an old, very funny movie--you should go rent it asap].

Anyway, I've had plenty of great ideas about Twitter, some of them mischievous, some not. Unfortunately, none have caught on. My ideas to date:

1. The "Auto-Unfollow" feature:  Know this -- I do not want to spend even 2 seconds reading about what you ate today. If you wouldn't come up and tell me about it if you saw me in the street, don't tell me on Twitter. The Auto-Unfollow button would let me program in all of the categories that are dealbreakers for me, and automatically unfollow any violators. Upon a violation, my Twitter feed would auto-tweet something like the following: "AUTO-UNFOLLOW. Violation Category: Food. RT @joeblow 'Just had an awesome piece of pizza at Ronnie Pizzeria. Loved it!'"

2. The Temp-Unfollow feature: Sometimes people who I like to follow will get into an argument or vigorous debate that I am not interested in and which goes on forever. The Temp-Unfollow feature would allow me to temporarily unfollow people for a set amount of time (say, 45 minutes), keeping the unwanted dialogue off of my Twitter feed for that time period.

3. Twitter-spoofing: This underused bit of mischief works like this: Come up with some fictional statement that you can falsely attribute to a friend, enemy or whomever, and then serve up a phony re-tweet as follows: RT@ScottGreenfield Just got out of Social Media Ninja training, ready to take on the world!

4. The Re-Direct Message (RDM): Tweets are for public consumption but "DMs" are supposed to be sacred and private. Still, what Twitter police force is stopping you from throwing out a few RDMs when people you don't give a hoot about and almost certainly don't know over-share? "RDM @etradetraitor Hey, Carton, keep it on the down-low but Lohan really was the milk-a-holic in the commercial! Shhhh!"

Like Billy Blaze waiting for his idea of feeding the mayonnaise to the tuna fish to catch on, I will keep an eye out to see if any of my ideas ever take off in the Twittersphere.

Posted by Bruce Carton on September 23, 2010 at 12:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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