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Judge Carton Rules: DieHard Car Batteries vs. DieHard Sex Spray

Welcome back to Judge Carton Rules, where a fake judge issues rulings to spare the parties to cases in which the outcomes are obvious the time and expense of further litigation. There is just one case on today's docket. We now join the proceedings live as Judge Carton issues his ruling:

Judge Carton: For the record, here are the facts as set forth in Chicago Breaking Business (via Consumerist): Sears has a well-known brand of car batteries called "DieHard," and it owns the trademark rights to that phrase. RockHard Laboratories is now marketing a topical "desensitizing spray" that supposedly prevents premature ejaculation in men -- also called DieHard. RockHard’s ads for its version of DieHard include a partially naked woman lying on top of the word DieHard.

Diehard Sears demands that RockHard cease its use of the DieHard name, "and pay damages and the cost of an ad campaign to correct any damage to the DieHard brand reputation." RockHard says it “takes intellectual property concerns very seriously, and we are reviewing the complaints made by Sears."

After reviewing these claims for five seconds, it is the judgment of this fake court that RockHard's use of the DieHard name for a sexual enhancement spray, while creative and somewhat amusing, is embarrassing to Sears and will probably subject it to unwanted "DieHard" jokes from late-night comedians. Accordingly, the court finds in favor of Sears on its request that RockHard stop using the name. The request for damages and an ad campaign is denied, however, as any ad campaign attempting to further "clarify" this matter would simply add to the late-night comedy fodder.

Posted by Bruce Carton on April 19, 2011 at 03:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)


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