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Things You Can't Do on a Plane: Vol. 4

You might think that after Volume 1, Volume 2 and Volume 3 of Things You Can't Do on a Plane, that we'd be all out of things you can't do on a plane. Nope! The list grows daily.

Here are three more things I've recently learned that you cannot do on a plane:

  • Take a photograph of unhelpful airline ticket agents' nametags. You may not take a photo of the nametag of airline employees who you believe are not helpful or rude. CONSEQUENCE: You may be threatened with being arrested and put on the "no-fly list."

  • Wear short denim shorts that make it unclear whether you are wearing panties. This is particularly true if you accompany such shorts with a baggy t-shirt. CONSEQUENCE: You may be kicked off the plane for dress code violations.
  • Have three dozen drinks during the flight, and then strike and break the glasses of the police officer who attempts to escort you off of the plane. You may not have roughly 36 drinks and become disorderly mid-flight, and then strike the police officer when he attempts to obtain your identification. CONSEQUENCE: Possible misdemeanor charges of resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, and assault and battery on a police officer. (You also might want to refrain from telling the police sergeant booking you: "You think I’m cute and I think you're cute, just drive me home.")

Posted by Bruce Carton on July 29, 2011 at 04:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (13)


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