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Things You Can't Do on a Plane: Vol. 5

You might think that after Volume 1Volume 2Volume 3 and Volume 4 of Things You Can't Do on a Plane, that we'd be all out of things you can't do on a plane. Nope! The list grows daily.

Here are three more things I've recently learned that you cannot do on a plane:

  • Cry, softly, about your father's heart attack. You may not cry about your father's heart attack, particularly if you accompany such crying by asking the flight attendant for a glass of wine. CONSEQUENCE: Removal from the flight (of both you and your sister).

  • Have a bat on board. No, not a baseball bat -- we're talking about the winged type of bat here. If such a creature makes its way on board a flight and is flying around the cabin, do not count on getting to your destination as planned. CONSEQUENCE: Flight will be turned around and plane returned to airport for bat removal, even if bat has already been trapped in the lavatory.

  • Receive oral sex from a flight attendant in the cockpit. Pilots may not receive oral sex from flight attendants in the cockpit. CONSEQUENCE: "Full investigation" by the airline. 


Posted by Bruce Carton on August 11, 2011 at 04:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)


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