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Monday's Three Burning Legal Questions

Here are today's three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blogosphere.

1) Question: My friend says she saw SpongeBob Squarepants getting taken away by police after being in an actual fistfight with two women on Hollywood Blvd. today. I say she didn't see that because (a) SpongeBob lives in a pineapple under the sea, and (b) SpongeBob wouldn't do that anyway. Who is right?

Answer: You are right on (a), but your friend is right on (b). Sometimes SpongeBob does do that (see the video below). (TMZ, SpongeBob SquaresUp, FIGHTS Two Women)

2) Question: I came home tonight to find my roommate dead. My buddy and I are thinking we may just grab his corpse and head out to a strip club -- kind of a "Weekend at Bernie's"-style final salute to our deceased friend. Yes?

Answer: No. That is a just a horrible idea and also may get you charged with "abusing a corpse." (The Denver PostTwo Denver Men Find Out That "Weekend At Bernie's" Isn't As Funny In Real Life)

3) Question: I am working as a dispatcher on the "911" emergency line. A guy is on the line now saying that he is drunk with the "munchies" and is trying to be responsible and avoid a DUI by walking through the Taco Bell drive-through. Taco Bell says that for safety reasons, however, he must drive through (not walk through) to be served. This Catch-22 was not covered by my 911 training. What am I supposed to do here?

Answer: This is not an emergency and it is not your problem. The guy trying to use you to get served at Taco Bell can be arrested for misuse of a 911 system. (, Largo 911 call: 'Taco Bell won't serve me tacos!')

Posted by Bruce Carton on September 19, 2011 at 12:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)


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