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Things You Can't Do on a Plane: Vol. 8

You might think that after Volume 1Volume 2Volume 3Volume 4Volume 5Volume 6 and Volume 7 of Things You Can't Do on a Plane, that we'd have exhausted the list of things you can't do on a plane. Nope! The list grows daily.

Here are three more things I've recently learned that you cannot do on a plane:

  • Get drunk, confuse a male flight attendant with your boyfriend, and begin to grope the male flight attendant "through his trousers" and proposition him for a sexual encounter. Passengers may not sexually assault and proposition flight attendants, even if they are under an "alcohol-induced illusion" that the person is their boyfriend. CONSEQUENCE: May be charged with with sexual assault and being drunk on an aircraft, fined £1,500, and ordered to perform 11 months of community service. Plus, you maybe suspended from your job as a teacher.
  • Watch child pornography on your laptop mid-flight.  Passengers may not view "horrific" child pornography on their laptop during the flightCONSEQUENCE: Will be apprehended by police upon plane landing and charged with possession of child pornography. May also be placed on administrative leave from your job as a professor pending the outcome of the case.
  • Allow a 400-pound passenger to purchase just one seat on a sold-out flight, forcing the passenger next to him to stand up for seven hours. Airlines may not allow morbidly obese passengers to board with just one seat purchased, causing the person in the seat next to them to have to stand for seven hours on an Alaska-to-Philadelphia flight with no seat belt during takeoff or landing. CONSEQUENCE: Pay angry displaced passenger $200.

Posted by Bruce Carton on November 29, 2011 at 01:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

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