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Wednesday's Three Burning Legal Questions

Here are today's three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blogosphere.

1) Question: I was recently hired by a facility that performs drug testing on patients and I have been instructed to always check each male's underpants "to ensure there is only one penis." I am unclear on the concept -- what does this even mean?

Answer: Sometimes drug abusers will use false penises to help them submit fake urine samples. Good luck with your sleuthing. (The Local'I check their underpants to ensure there is only one penis')

2) Question: I have an appeal that will likely be heard by Judge Alex Kozinski on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit. We have some bad facts in our case. How can I best downplay this information?

Answer: Just put your bad facts in block quotes in your appellate brief. Judge Kozinski does not read block quotes. (Lawyerist, Use Blockquotes When You Have a Point You Don’t Want to Make)

3) Question: Yes, I crashed my vehicle, but there was an elephant in the middle of the road. What am I supposed to do, run straight into an elephant? 

Answer: No, but just bear in mind that your credibility about the elephant is diminished when you admit to smoking marijuana that was dipped in PCP prior to driving (and avoiding the elephant, and crashing). (MyFoxPhilly, Del. Man Claims He Saw Elephant On Road, Faces 7th DUI Charge)

Posted by Bruce Carton on October 3, 2012 at 04:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)


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