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Thursday's Three Burning Legal Questions

Here are today's three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blawgosphere.

1) Question: I am the director of a theatrical version of “The Graduate” at the local nonprofit theater. We need to provide Mrs. Robinson with a lighted cigarette on stage so she can do a dramatic exhale of a puff of smoke like in the movie. Now the sheriff is telling me that this will violate the Clean Air Act, which prohibits smoking in any indoor area. He says I need to use talcum powder, or a prop cigarette with a reflective tip. What?? Is this true? I cannot work under these conditions!

Are you in Colorado? Then go get the talcum powder. (On Point News, Colorado Judge Fumes Over Ban on Theatrical Smoking)

2) Question: Can you help me find a conference dedicated solely to the subject of yawning?

Answer: No problem. (idealawg: In Paris next June: 1st International Conference on Yawning)

Badsanta 3) Question: I'm about to cross-examine Santa Claus. He thinks he is so pure and loved. Do you have any ideas on how I can take him down a peg or two in front of the jury?

Answer: You need to talk to Dr. Nathan Grills of Australia's Monash University. He has all of the dirt on Santa. He says Santa's "rotund sedentary image" has had the effect of making "obesity synonymous with cheerfulness and joviality" around the world. He also writes that Santa appears to be a promoter of drunk driving, speeding, disregard for road rules and extreme sports such as roof surfing and chimney jumping. Finally, he notes that despite the risks of high speed air travel, Santa is never depicted wearing a seatbelt or helmet. (AAP: Santa promotes obesity-academic)

Posted by Bruce Carton on December 17, 2009 at 02:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)


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