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The Four People (and Counting) Lawyers Won't Meet in Solo Practice

La_law-show Paul Schorn, a solo practitioner in Texas, has written an interesting article, published in Texas Lawyer, on "The 4 People Lawyers Won't Meet in Solo Practice." Flipping the idea of Mitch Albom's "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" on its head, Schorn writes that while his solo practice is risky and demanding, he knows that he will never be stuck with the types of big firm people who can drain all the fun out of practicing law.

For those of you in BigLaw, see if you recognize any of these soul-sapping characters, as described by Schorn:

1. "Jack the partner"

Egomaniac. Narcissist. Takes credit for everything. Belittles and bullies everyone around him. Schorn notes that this type is careful to insulate clients from other lawyers, lest he lose control.

2. "Chad the associate"

Friendly back-slapper and suck-up whose true motivation is to keep track of hours billed by those with whom he is competing for partnership. "Gossips like a junior-high cheerleader and never misses a chance to second-guess a peer's bad outcome in the courtroom."

3. "James the office manager"

Manages the office "as if it were Yugoslavia circa 1971" with too many forms, arbitrary rules and favoritism. Posts Dilbert-caliber signs in the break room. ("Everyone WILL limit their soda consumption to a REASONABLE amount, or we WILL switch to GENERIC. Thank you.")

4. "Brian the wellness coach"

The "doughy man in an ill-fitting polo" who roams the office once a week badgering people about "good health practices." Also forces chit-chat about diet and exercise and leaves pamphlets on lawyers' desks about heart disease, Schorn says. (In my own limited experience with the Brians of the world, there is also invariably some effort to create a massage or "chill-out" room that falls apart after about six months when "Jack the partner" needs the room for a document review).

Who are some of the other "people" you won't meet in solo practice? I know there are others. How about ...

5. "Eugene the socially inept 'genius'"

Eugene is incapable of holding a conversation about his visit to Target without side-tracking into a discussion about the potential Sherman Act ramifications. He will never have a client of his own and may never even meet a client. But if you want a 50-page memo on whether federal jurisdiction exists in your new case, Eugene is your man.

Please share your ideas on some of the other "people you won't meet in solo practice" in the comments.

Posted by Bruce Carton on March 10, 2010 at 10:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

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