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Monday's Three Burning Legal Questions

Here are today's three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blogosphere.

1) Question: I just returned home to find, to my surprise, two women and a man having sex in my carport. Specifically, a "half-naked man was having sex with one of the women, while the other female was 'naked and messing with [my] scooter.'" When I interrupted this scene in my carport, the woman who was "mid-coitus got angry, ripped down a cigarette ashtray attached to the apartment building, and threw it at [me], striking [me] in the shoulder." What are my rights here?

Answer: You absolutely have a right to prohibit strangers from having sex in your carport. I'm pretty sure that is in the Constitution somewhere. And the ashtray throw sounds like the crime of "battery."  (SeattleCrime, The Morning Blotter: Naked Chicks and Scooters)

2) Question: My son just got kicked off the basketball team for refusing to cut his hair above his "eyebrows, collars and ears." Isn't this unconstitutional or something?

Answer: It is not as clear-cut as the right to prohibit strangers from having sex in your carport, but you may have a First Amendment argument here. (, Lawsuit over Greensburg short-hair rule may be a long shot).

Witch 3) Question: I'm a Romanian witch. The Romanian legislature just passed legislation defining witches, astrologists and others as legal and taxable "professions." Outrageous! I threatened to "cast a spell using black pepper and yeast to create discord in the government" and the legislature passed the bill anyway. What should I do?

Answer: Either pay your witch taxes or break out the black pepper and yeast, I guess?  (AP, Witchcraft declared legal profession in Romania) (via Lowering the Bar)

Posted by Bruce Carton on January 3, 2011 at 01:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)


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