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Things You Can't Do on a Plane: Vol. 1

I seem to see a fresh "Trouble on a Plane" story every day, so I think it is time to launch a new LBW series on "Things You Can't Do on a Plane" for the benefit of all of you air travelers. Here is Volume 1:

  • Strip naked. You may not strip naked on a plane, become disruptive and then lock yourself in a toilet. That is prohibited. CONSEQUENCE: The pilot may turn the plane and its 110 passengers back to the airport, even if it just took off.

  • Say the "F-word." No matter how frustrated you may be about your plane's delay in taking off due to a problem with the overhead compartments, you may not drop an "F-bomb" as an "intensifier" when you are complaining to yourself (e.g., "What the f--- is taking so long!"). CONSEQUENCE: If your F-bomb is overheard by a flight attendant, the airline may summon police aboard to escort you off of the flight.

  • Engage in a fistfight when the person in the seat in front of you reclines his seat. Passengers may not assault the person in front of them for reclining his or her seat. This is strictly prohibited. CONSEQUENCE: The pilot may return the plane to the airport, escorted by a pair of F-16 fighter jets.

Posted by Bruce Carton on June 15, 2011 at 12:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)


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