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If We Ban Baggy Pants, the Criminals Trying to Make a Quick Getaway Win

If there is one thing that legal blog watching has taught me, it is that a suspect's baggy pants are a policeman's best friend. Indeed, back in 2010 when I used to cover the baggy pants beat for Legal Blog Watch, I observed no fewer than three cases in a 12-month span where criminal plots were completely and utterly foiled by the perpetrators' baggy pants. See suspect trying to flee scene using fire escape whose "low-slung pants fell to his ankles, tripping him and sending him falling three stories to his death;" bank robber whose attempted sprint to the bank door was impeded by his sagging pants, causing the dye pack to explode into a cloud of red smoke; see also the burglar caught in the act who attempted to elude his pursuers but was captured because “[h]is pants were clear down around his knees so he couldn't run real well.” 

Given the clear edge that baggy pants provide to police, you would think that police and lawmakers would be the strongest supporters of baggy pants. You would think, for example, that towns would organize "Baggy Pants Month," "Baby Baggy Pants" contests, and other events and festivities geared toward promoting baggy pants. And yet that just doesn't seem to be the case. If anything, local authorities continue to be irrationally hostile toward baggy pants. Just yesterday, the Alabama House of Representatives passed a bill by a 59-0 vote that would ban saggy pants throughout the state. As far as I'm concerned, that's 59 Alabamans who are soft on crime.

Posted by Bruce Carton on February 17, 2012 at 04:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)


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