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Things You Can't Do on a Plane: Vol. 25

You might think that after Volume 1Volume 2Volume 3Volume 4Volume 5Volume 6Volume 7Volume 8Volume 9Volume 10Volume 11Volume 12Volume 13Volume 14Volume 15Volume 16Volume 17Volume 18Volume 19Volume 20Volume 21Volume 22Volume 23 and Volume 24 of Things You Can't Do on a Plane, that we'd have exhausted the list of things you can't do on a plane. Nope! The list grows daily.

Here are three more things I've recently learned that you cannot do on a plane:

  • Attempt to smuggle the endangered "loris" in your pants.  Passengers may not attempt to smuggle the rare loris, a tiny, big-eyed primate that is "endangered" under the Wildlife Protection Act of India, onboard a plane in their underwear. CONSEQUENCE: Loris smuggler will be turned over to customs officials and loris will be turned over to wildlife authorities.
  • Engage in a heated verbal altercation with a fellow flight attendant. Flight attendants may not argue with their fellow flight attendants to such a degree that they can't work together during the flight. CONSEQUENCEPlane will return to the gate to seek replacement flight crew, forcing four-hour delay.
  • Pretend that you are a pilot to fly for free on international flights. Passengers may not wear a fake pilot's cap and uniform and present a false pilot's ID to convince flight crew that they are pilots who should fly for free (in the cockpit). CONSEQUENCE: Passenger will be charged with suspicion of putting at risk the security of air transport and "usurping a title."

Posted by Bruce Carton on September 25, 2012 at 03:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)


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